you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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