I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
