ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
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