Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Did I show you my penis last night?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
