I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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