Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
