i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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