Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
