Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
