I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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