You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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