Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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