Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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