Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
