It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
