walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
smell my finger.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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