Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
