Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
