But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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