Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
