He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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