I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize