new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
