I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
