I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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