She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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