That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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