After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize