You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
