What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Are my feet made of real feet?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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