I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
