he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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