I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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