He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
