He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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