The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
