He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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