If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
