I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
