Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize