cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
