they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
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