i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
