My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i barfeds in our rink
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
