So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize