we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
