you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize