More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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