ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
