Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
