I hate all girls vehemently.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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