I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
